


Tony's Texts

by Tahlruil



Series: Phone a Friend [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-08-09 07:28:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7792309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tahlruil/pseuds/Tahlruil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of texts sent to or by Tony during 'Early Morning Calls'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Noir_noir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noir_noir/gifts).



> I must thank Noir_noir for this idea! I hadn't really thought of including anything like this, and then the comment showed up and I went 'hmmmm'. 
> 
> So this is at least partly for you. <3 Wouldn't have done it without that comment!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Drop a comment pretty please?
> 
> Also, just in case you haven't read it yet: [Early Morning Calls](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7098418/chapters/16129642)

Tony, you can’t ignore me forever. I know you know I’ve been trying to reach you all day.  
1:04 PM

The intern I sent to deliver the papers I need you to sign told me JARVIS wouldn’t let her in the elevator. I need those papers, Tony.

I am the CEO of your company, and I’m not just going to go away if you avoid me long enough.  
1:06 PM

This move is for the best and we both know that. We need space and some time apart. You’ll always be important to me, but I just can’t do it anymore. What I can do is be your CEO and your friend. Can’t that be enough?  
1:09 PM

Tony, please answer me.  
1:12 PM

_Pepper. Pep. Pepper-Pott. I love you, but stop bothering me. I’m working on something very delicate. I’m in the zone, Pep. Stop trying to tear me out of it._  
1:13 PM

So you’re not just ignoring me because you’re upset with me?  
1:14 PM

_Not everything is about you, Pep. So I beg you, leave me alone. I’m trying to save the world here._  
1:15 PM

Tony… fine. Just please sign the papers. If you want me to run this company, you have to help me out sometimes. I’m sending the intern back over; if you don’t want her near the lab, at least tell JARVIS to let her put the folder in the elevator, and you can send it back up when you’re done.  
1:15 PM

_You couldn’t just forge my signature? I trust you, after all. Sign them for me._  
1:15 PM

No. Let that poor girl in and do it yourself. And Tony? You need to give her some level of clearance to get to you. I can’t fly to New York every time I need you to do something.  
1:16 PM

_Of course not. That would be ridiculous. The constant barrage of calls and text messages is more fun. Are the sixteen voicemails I have all from you?_

_And no intern may step foot into my lab. Why should I let her? Can’t I at least have another assistant?_  
1:19 PM

No. I can’t find one who will put up with you, so you get a revolving door of interns. Let her in and sign the papers, Tony.  
1:19 PM

_Fine. Fine, I’ll let your minion in and sign your little papers. Then will you leave me alone for a little while?_  
1:19 PM

Yes.  
1:20 PM

So you aren’t angry with me?  
1:23 PM

_Keep distracting me and I’ll be furious._  
1:23 PM

You’re impossible.  
1:23 PM

_Love you too, Pep. Will that be all, Ms. Potts?_  
1:24 PM

That will be all, Mr. Stark.  
1:24 PM

~.~.~

Just watched a guy almost get hit by a taxi.

Why do all these people want to read while they’re walking, especially when they’re crossing the street?  
3:42 PM

I don’t get it. Using cell phones is bad enough.

Are they just trying to look smart, you think? Like ‘oh look at me, I’m soooo intellectual’.

No, dude, you look like a douche. Am I right? Yeah, I totally am.  
3:45 PM

How much can they even really be reading? Just tried walking around my apartment with a magazine. I wasn’t processing anything.

Sorry, but if I can’t manage a Cosmo, there’s no way those fuckers are getting anything from War and Peace.  
3:49 PM

Posers.  
3:50 PM

_I wonder if Pepper is really going to like this. Steve seems like an optimistic boy scout, to be honest. Not everyone actually likes handmade presents._

_The ones I make are utterly superior to anything in stores, of course, but still._  
12:16 AM

_What am I supposed to do if she hates it? It’s practically a living thing. If she doesn’t want it, it’ll be like those assholes who adopt a dog for a few days, then take it back to the pound._

_No, no, she won’t hate it that much. She might not use it a lot, but she won’t make me dismantle it._  
12:17 AM

_I think._

_Maybe if she hates it, I’ll send it to you or Steve. You’d get a kick out of it, and my Stevie-kins would be filled with awe and amazement._

_I hope she doesn’t hate it._  
12:18 AM

_Also, no one has actually read War and Peace. Anyone pretending to deserves to be hit by a car._  
12:23 AM

That’s how I feel. And I’ll happily accept a hand-me-down present.

As long as I don’t have to water it. If it’s something that needs to be watered, give it to Steve.

I’m not allowed to have things that need to be watered anymore.  
10:24 AM

Totally undeserved and unfair rule, by the way. I meant to kill all those plants. They were fucking ugly.

Maria wasn’t pleased though, so Nat made a rule.

Glad she didn’t just kill me, I guess.

But I could handle watering things. I’m not a little kid.  
10:25 AM

But it’s Nat’s rule, so if the hand-me-down present requires watering, I can’t be your guy. Steve loves to take care of shit though. He’d be happy to water anything.

Especially if it came from you.  
10:26 AM

Someone beat my high score on one of the machines at my favorite arcade.

Fucker.

Not by much though. Should be able to get my name back to #1 pretty easy.  
12:47 PM

harder than I thought it would be.  
12:55 PM

Steve’s gonna be pissed when I don’t have enough quarters to do laundry.

Although if I wait long enough, he’ll just do them for me.

Might have to be stinky for a day or two, but… worth it.  
1:01 PM

Some little asshole just started crying because I wouldn’t give him the machine. Where does he think he is? It’s every man for himself in here.

This is Sparta, motherfucker.  
1:11 PM

His mom’s pretty hot, but I think me calling her son a crybaby before I let him have the machine hurt my chances at getting a date.  
1:12 PM

Got hit with her purse when I asked.  
1:13 PM

Fuck. This is the bastard that beat my high score! His tears must have been a fucking decoy. Little shit.

He’s lucky I’m not allowed to bring any of my Nerf arsenal out in public any more.  
1:18 PM

Thinking about all my rules, it’s become clear that Nat and Steve ruin all my fun.

I must seek vengeance.  
1:19 PM

_Please don’t hurt Steve too badly in your quest for revenge. I sort of enjoy talking to him._  
1:21 PM

You want to daaaate him, meet him and kiiiiiiss him.  
1:21 PM

_Shouldn’t the meeting come first?_  
1:21 PM

Nah. He gets all nervous in person with people he likes. Start dating him first, that way when you meet you can skip the awkward and get straight to sexy times.

But please wait until I’m out of the room, because seeing Steve that way would be icky.  
1:22 PM

_Give me a little credit, Barton. If I get to have sexy time with Steve, there won’t be anyone around to see how far down his blush goes. That’s my blush. No other eyes allowed._

_Not that I necessarily want sexy times, of course. Or want to date him. Dating someone I haven’t met in person would be weird._  
1:23 PM

Liar. You want to daaaaate him, meet him and kiiiiiiss him, and prolly fuuuuuck him.  
1:23 PM

_Steve said you could be a little shit. I see he was right. I refuse to keep speaking to you – I have a present to finish._  
1:23 PM

I can be, but I’m not wrong either am I? You totally want Steve, I can tell. You want sexy times. He’d probably be willing to have some over the phone – he’s not a complete fuddy duddy.  
1:24 PM

_I’m sending you something that has to be watered. I have your name, Clint Barton. Finding you will be easy, and I’m sending you something that requires you water it in order for it to live._  
1:24 PM

noooooo!

I’ll be good, honest.  
1:24 PM

_One more chance, Barton. One more. Then you get something with foliage._  
1:24 PM

Tricky bastard.

I approve.  
1:25 PM

~.~.~

_Brucie-bear, make Pep leave me aloooone! She keeps bothering me while I am inventing._

_She is disturbing my process._  
1:46 PM

_**So you disturb mine?**_  
1:48 PM

_Bruce. I would never! Unless the situation were dire, of course. This one is approaching critical._

_Maker her stop._  
1:49 PM

_**Did you do whatever it was she asked you to do?**_  
1:49 PM

_Yes?_  
1:49 PM

_**?**_  
1:49 PM

_Mostly. I mostly did._  
1:49 PM

_**Then I mostly can’t help you.**_  
1:50 PM

_Traitor._  
1:50 PM

_**I’ll try, alright? Just let me finish this experiment first.**_  
1:53 PM

_Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. This is why you’re my favorite._  
1:53 PM

~.~.~

_Testing, 1 2 3. This Nat?_  
5:27 PM

_Yeah._  
5:27 PM

_Cool. Good._

_You’re in my contacts now._

_Okay. Cool._  
5:27 PM

_Hush. I’m busy teasing your boyfriend._  
5:28 PM

_You’re making him blush over me and I’m not even there to enjoy it?_

_Rude._

_Also, not dating. Why do you all seem to have so much trouble with the concept?_  
5:28 PM

_Hush._  
5:28 PM

~.~.~

Steve stole the fucking car.

Asshole.

Gonna kill him.

Kill him dead.

Call your boyfriend and say goodbye before I catch up to him.  
5:31 PM

_Hellooooo. Not dating._

_He stole a CAR??!!_  
5:31 PM

~.~.~

_Nat. Nat. Nat._  
5:40 PM

_Yes?_  
5:40 PM

_Clint told me Steve stole a car, then stopped answering me._

_Such a thing doesn’t sound like Steve._

_What did you all do to my precious, wonderful, delicate honey-toast?_  
5:41 PM

_Honey-toast?_  
5:41 PM

_You’re all savages. Nicknames are an important part of civilized living, you know._  
5:41 PM

_Honey-toast?_  
5:41 PM

_Focus, Nat, focus! The car. Tell Tony all about the stolen car before he has a heart attack, okay?_  
5:41 PM

_Was Bucky’s car. He and Clint were being asses._  
5:42 PM

_Ah, I see. Heart slowing. So you weren’t being an ass then?_  
5:42 PM

_ I was not being an ass to your boyfriend, no. I was too busy finishing my ice cream. _

_ Then Bucky’s. _

_ And Clint’s. _

_And Steve’s._  
5:42 PM

_We’re not… no, you know what? We’re obviously dating in your mental world, and I’m tired of fighting it. Thank you for not being an ass to my ‘boyfriend’. Also, that’s a lot of ice cream._  
5:42 PM

_Hm. You pass. And yeah. Worth it, even with the scolding I’ll get from Maria._  
5:42 PM

_… yay? Tell Maria I said hi. Maybe? If that’s not too much?_  
5:43 PM

_ Of course it isn’t too much. I’ll tell her. She’ll want your number too. _

_Just a warning. She likes to send pictures._  
5:43 PM

_Like of Steve?_  
5:43 PM

_Down boy._  
5:43 PM

_Hurtful._  
5:44 PM

_Not of Steve, no, not unless he tells her it’s okay. No I meant pictures of her, the house, our apartment, flowers, cloud formations…_  
5:44 PM

_Ah._  
5:44 PM

_Pretty bugs, food, cars, buildings, ugly bugs…_  
5:44 PM

_Got it, thanks. She likes to send pictures._  
5:44 PM

_Cracks on the sidewalk, funny signs, weird signs, blurry pictures of nothing…_  
5:44 PM

_The obvious love I can read in your words is borderline vomit inducing. You should be ashamed._

_Also very pleased with yourself. It’s kind of adorable, once you stop gagging._  
5:45 PM

_Hush. I’ll give her your number when I get home._  
5:45 PM

_Okay._  
5:45 PM

_Steve isn’t some sweet, innocent little boy by the way._  
6:00 PM

_No, definitely not a little boy. I can vouch for that – he showed me his abs this morning._

_They’re very nice._

_I’d sort of like to lick them._  
6:00 PM

_Too much information._  
6:00 PM

_Sorry._  
6:00 PM

_’S fine. You should find your boyfriend attractive. Just remember you aren’t allowed to hurt him._  
6:01 PM

_Okay, one – that’s very hurtful of you to think I would ever, and two – I remember._

_He is my precious honey-toast. I will protect and shelter him and daydream about his abs, not hurt him._  
6:01

_ That’s what I was talking about. He’s not always sweet and definitely isn’t innocent. He cusses and steals his best friend’s car. Sometimes he drinks, and he’s a betraying bastard when it comes to paintball. _

_ If you talk long enough, he trusts you and you don’t push it, he’ll probably send you a picture of more than his abs at some point. _

_Don’t build up an unrealistic picture of him in your head. That’s all._  
6:05 PM

_Thanks, mom, but I think I can handle forming an impression of my boyfriend all on my own._  
6:05 PM

_Hush. I’m going to nap now._  
6:05 PM

_Sleep well Nat. Have a safe trip home._  
6:05 PM

~.~.~

**Hey.**  
9:37 PM

_Hi?_  
9:37 PM

**This Tony?**  
9:37 PM

_Yes?_  
9:37 PM

**Oh good. Was afraid Nat gave me the wrong number. You txted her but not me. Wanted to make sure.**  
9:38 PM

_Bucky, right?_  
9:38 PM

**Yeah.**  
9:38 PM

_Sorry I didn’t text earlier, I guess. I got a little distracted._  
9:38 PM

**It’s fine.**  
9:38 PM

_Okay._

_So._  
9:38 PM

**Just checking.**  
9:38 PM

_Okay?_  
9:39 PM

**Yeah.**  
9:39 PM

_Right then._  
9:39 PM

**Not much for chatter, but if you ever need anything let me know.**  
9:39 PM

_You’re all insane._  
9:39 PM

**Yup.**  
9:39 PM

_Thanks._  
9:39 PM

**Yup.**  
9:40 PM

_… did you really let my Stevie-kins steal your car?_  
9:46 PM

**Fuck you.**  
9:46 PM

~.~.~

_Rhodey._

_Rhodey._

_I know you won’t see this or be able to answer for a while. But I’m panicking. A little._  
2:22 AM

_Okay, a lot. I’m panicking a lot._

_Rhodey. Sugar smacks. There’s a guy. He’s… he’s pretty alright. We’ve been talking for a little while – a few days._

_On the phone, not in person._  
2:23 AM

_If it was in person I don’t think I’d have spent much time talking. I want to lick his abs. And probably the rest of him. In person, that’s what I’d be doing._

_But we’re not talking in person. I’ve never even seen his face._

_We’re talking, Rhodey._

_TALKING._  
2:24 AM

_His friends have my number. I have theirs. I’m talking to his friends._

_Rhodey, I’m freaking the fuck out, just a little._

_Call me when you get to take a break from being shot at._  
2:25 AM

_Rhodey._

_Lambey pie._

_I might be thinking of buying him and his friends a house. Or helping them buy one. Sneaky-like, so they won’t know I’m doing it._

_Freaking out._

_SOS, Stark overboard. Send help._  
2:26 AM


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More texts on Tony's phone!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple of the convos I've been carrying around between Tony and the others in my head. Typed some out after abandoning my current NaNo concept in an effort to clear mah brain a bit. XD 
> 
> There's more in the works, specifically dealing with stuff that's been brought up in the main fic, but have these for now!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Comment if you like. <3 You're all lovely and wonderful. <3

~ What about this one? ~

~ Multimedia Message Received ~  
3:06 PM

~ Oh no, this one is so much better.~

~ Multimedia Message Received ~  
3:10 PM

~ OMG. Who designed this? ~ 

~ Multimedia Message Received ~

~ Who would put THAT in a BABY’S room? ~  
3:45 PM

_It’s a strange world. People are weird and stupid._  
4:57 PM

_I could design something better, and I know exactly nothing about babies._  
5:01 PM

_Multimedia Message Sent_  
5:24 PM

~ Tony, did you really just design a room for my baby? ~  
5:38 PM

_Yes?_

_Unless you’re mad or you hate it._

_Then no._  
5:39 PM

~ Does this look like an angry face? ~

~ Multimedia Message Received ~  
5:40 PM

_I feel like however I answer that I’ll be wrong._  
5:40 PM

~ Multimedia Message Received ~  
5:40 PM

_But that definitely IS a pouty face._

_Don’t pout. It makes me sad._  
5:41 PM

_Yes yes. I did the thing._  
5:42 PM

~ Tony, it’s lovely! ~

~ Multimedia Message Received ~  
5:53 PM

_… did you draw all those hearts and stuff just now?_  
5:53 PM

~ Yes. ~  
5:53 PM

_Have Steve do all the painting, kay?_  
5:54 PM

~.~.~

Tony.  
12:12 PM

_Pepper._  
12:14 PM

Why?  
12:14 PM

_Why what?_  
12:16 PM

Don’t pretend you don’t know.  
12:16 PM

_I’m not a MIND READER Pep._  
12:19 PM

Anthony Edward Stark. You explain yourself right now.  
12:20 PM

_I don’t want to._  
12:21 PM

Tony. I am the CEO of Stark Industries. You cannot do things like this without telling me. Or at all, actually.

Now tell me why.  
12:23 PM

_No._  
12:23 PM

Tony! Answer your phone!  
12:31 PM

I will get on the company jet right now, Tony. I will not bring Bruce. I will bring paperwork.  
12:35 PM

_Look, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. Hey, do you need a new pair of shoes?_  
12:36 PM

Tony.  
12:36 PM

_Okay! Fuck._

_Look._

_It’s not that bad._  
12:37 PM

You started developing a whole new line of products.

You started the process that will bring a whole new branch of SI into being.

You’ve got R&D working on ridiculous designs, and I want to know WHY.  
12:38 PM

I am your CEO! You cannot DO things like this to me Tony!  
12:39 PM

_Steve likes paintball._  
12:39 PM

What the hell are you talking about?  
12:39 PM

_Steve and his friends play paintball. The equipment on the market looks awful._

_Steve should have better._

_So voila! StarkBall: Where paint is only the beginning._  
12:40 PM

…

Are you dying again? This seems like something you would do if you were dying. And who is Steve?  
12:41 PM

_That was ONE time!_

_Also no. About dying and Steve._  
12:42 PM

Oh my god. I’ll be in New York tomorrow, and well talk about the new branch then. Also about Steve.  
12:42 PM

_No, we will not talk about Steve._  
12:43 PM

We will if you don’t want me to reject your product line proposal.  
12:43 PM

_That’s blackmail, and I’m hurt. Deeply hurt. Irrevocably devastated. I don’t know that I could have such an awful person in my workshop. You may be denied entry._  
12:44 PM

I know all the override codes, Tony. Try me.  
12:44 PM

_I hate how amazing and terrifying you are._  
12:45 PM

~.~.~

_Okay. On a scale of 1 to 10, how upset will you be if I call you things like Robocop?_  
9:06 AM

**-10**  
9:07 AM

_How upset will Steve be?_  
9:08 AM

**10,000,000**  
9:08 AM

_So private nicknames then._  
9:10 AM

**Yup.**  
9:11 AM

_And people say I don’t know how to be sensitive._  
9:11 AM

_Also, your ability to work with a given scale sucks ass._  
9:13 AM

**You say the sweetest things.**  
9:13 AM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ Maria has thingies around her txts ~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dashed this off today. XD I have a whole schedule for the next couple weeks to try to get everything updated and finish my gift exchanges. But first I wanted to do something easy and fun. So... here is this thing. That I did. XD
> 
> Comments? Pleeeaaase? <333

Steve is a jerk.

You should dump him and go out with me instead.  
7:16 PM

_We’re not even dating, Legolas._  
7:17 PM

Yeah. Right. Sure. Okay.

DUMP HIM.  
7:18 PM

_What happened?_  
7:18 PM

He won’t make me lasagna. D-:  
7:18 PM

_You want me to revenge-date you over a pasta dish?_  
7:19 PM

It’s a really fucking good pasta dish.

Like, the best ever.

And he won’t make it for me.  
7:19 PM

Tooooony. D-:

Dump him. Date me.

Make me lasagna.  
7:20 PM

I’m hungry.  
7:21 PM

_Steve says he WAS making you lasagna, but you shot him in the ass with a Nerf gun. He ALSO says that would have been fine, because he is an adorably fluffy marshmallow, but then you kept firing and several bits of ammunition ended up in the lasagna._  
7:23 PM

Okay, that might all be true.  
7:23 PM

_Did you apologize?_  
7:23 PM

Did Steve say I didn’t?  
7:24 PM

_What do you think?_  
7:24 PM

I think it’s awful of you to believe your boyfriend over me.

He might be the oen lying you know.  
7:24 PM

_Say sorry and spring for some pizza or something._

_Because I am NOT dating you. You’re pretty cool, Barton, but you’re a definite downgrade from my Stevie-kins._  
7:25 PM

But. But. Awwww. Lasagna.

Also – fair. I wouldn’t dump Steve to date you either. Just fyi.

My feelings aren’t like, hurt or anything.  
7:25 PM

_Next time don’t shoot at the food you want to eat. It’s the ONLY RULE Steve has about those ridiculous guns you have._

_Dumping Steve to date me would be dumb. Never do that._  
7:26 PM

Ugh. Fine mom. I’ll apologize and stop shooting the food.  
7:26 PM

_You’re absurd, and I am CLEARLY the dad here._  
7:26 PM

Point. BBL, pizza’s here.  
7:27 PM

~.~.~

_I don’t know how to accurately assess a playground threat._  
5:38 AM

_Uh. That’s… something?_  
5:40 AM

_ What if there’s a threat at the playground? _

_ What am I supposed to do?  _

_ Especially if the threat is another child.  _

_ I can’t neutralize another child.  _

_Right?_  
5:40 AM

_Yeah, pretty sure that's a resounding no._

_You’d maybe speak to their parents or something?_

_Take your kid home?_

_Fuck if I know._  
5:40 AM

_Both good suggestions._  
5:40 AM

_What do I do about bullies in school?_  
5:40 AM

_Hack the school’s computer system and give them all failing grades?_

_I don’t know Nat._  
5:41 AM

_I like it._  
5:41 AM

_I’ll help so no one catches you._  
5:41 AM

_Thanks._  
5:41 AM

_How do I make sure she knows I love her?_  
5:45 AM

_Tell her. Even if it’s hard, or you’re upset, or she’s pretending she doesn’t care. Tell her._

_Don’t make her guess._  
5:46 AM

_I can do that._  
5:46 AM

_I know you can, Natty-cakes._  
5:46 AM

_Do we know it’s a girl?_  
5:47 AM

_No. Just have a feeling._  
5:47 AM

~.~.~

**Tones. What the fuck?**

**What the ACTUAL fuck?**

**Im out of reach for 1 month and u start buying strange men houses??**

**WTF?**  
3:04 AM

**Do we know anything abotu him?**  
3:05 AM

_Yes, sour patch, we know things about him._  
3:05 AM

**Besides his gr8 abs?**  
3:05 AM

_Yes! I told you we’ve been talking._

_His name is Steven Rogers. He went into the army right after high school._

_Made Sergeant._  
3:06 AM

**Just b/c he’s military doesn’t mean he’s on my good side.**  
3:06 AM

_I’m just giving you the facts!_

_After he got out he came home and went to art school. He’s REALLY good, Rhodey._

_Now he works at some art supply store and does commissions on the side._  
3:07 AM

**y on the side?**  
3:07 AM

_That’s what I said!_

_He said he’s got people depending on him to have steady work, and it would be selfish to take the time he’d need to establish himself as a full-time artist._

_I think he’s just nervous to put himself out there. Maybe I could get him a gallery showing…_  
3:08 AM

**Does he know who u r?**  
3:08 AM

_He… knows I’m Tony._

_That’s enough for him, for now._  
3:08 AM

**U sure?**  
3:09 AM

_Yes, I’m sure! Jeez, koala-face, take the paranoia down a notch._  
3:09 AM

**b/c no one’s ever tried to scam u before.**  
3:09 AM

_Steve isn’t like that. Neither are his friends._

_Our friends. Kinda._

_Huh._

_Mom, mom! I made new friends!!!_  
3:10 AM

**Tony. This isn’t like you. Are you okay? I know you miss me, Pepper and Bruce, but… this just feels off to me.**  
3:11 AM

_Well it isn’t._  
3:11 AM

**Look, I’ve got a couple weeks of leave coming up. Gotta spend some time with my folks, but I’ll be at the tower for a while, I promise.**

**We can talk about all this then.**  
3:12 AM

_Nothing to talk about._  
3:12 AM

_If you want beer while you’re here, bring your own. I don’t keep it in stock anymore._  
3:13 AM

~.~.~

_Help._  
5:56 PM

**What’s wrong?**  
5:56 PM

_Okay._

_I love my friend._

_I missed him, and I’m happy he’s here._  
5:57 PM

_But he’s drinking._

_… I want a drink, terminator._

_Don’t tell Steve?_  
5:58 PM

** How many days? **

**Steve’d be proud you’re talking about it. But I won’t say nothing.**  
5:59 PM

_What the fuck does that matter?_

_Thanks._  
5:59 PM

**How many days?**  
5:59 PM

_I don’t know. 50 something._  
6:00 PM

**Tony.**  
6:00 PM

_Fine! Fifty-seven. Happy, fucker?_  
6:00 PM

**New chip at 60.**  
6:01 PM

_Not in AA asshole._  
6:01 PM

** You still buy the chips, asshole. You showed me. **

**Does your friend know?**  
6:01 PM

_No._  
6:03 PM

**Tell him.**  
6:03 PM

_No. I can do this. It’s fine._  
6:03 PM

** Tony, it’s up to you. **

**But I’m proud of you for not drinking for so long. So is Steve and Clint, and our girls too.**  
6:04 PM

**I bet your friend would be just as proud.**  
6:06 PM

**So tell him. It’ll be fine, doll.**  
6:07 PM

_What if it’s not?_  
6:07 PM

**Then you call me, and we’ll get you through it. But it’s going to be fine.**  
6:08 PM

_I can do this._  
6:08 PM

**Fuck yeah you can.**  
6:08 PM

_It’s been 57 days. That’s a long time for me._  
6:08 PM

**It’s awesome, Tony.**  
6:08 PM

_Rhodey won’t be angry with me for asking him to put the beer away._  
6:09 PM

**Not if he’s really your friend.**  
6:09 PM

_And he is. He’s my best friend._  
6:09 PM

**He’ll be so proud of you. Let him know, Tony.**  
6:09 PM

_Yeah. Yeah, I’ll tell him._

_Thanks Robocop._  
6:10 PM

**Any time, doll.**  
6:10 PM

_Stop flirting with me. My heart belongs to another._  
6:10 PM

**Nah. Steve don’t mind. I’d never really steal his man.**  
6:10 PM

_Like you could._  
6:11 PM

** Oh, I could. ;)  **

**But I wouldn’t. Now stop stalling and go talk to this Rhodey fellow.**  
6:11 PM

_Ugh. Fiiiiine. I’ll let you know how it turns out later._  
6:11 PM

**Later.**  
6:11 PM

**I really am proud of you Tony.**  
6:15 PM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Steve will not be txting in this fic, Rhodey is **strong**.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. Thankfully the last couple days have been really full of inspiration! Here's this thing, and I'll have a chapter of Shifting Perceptions up either tonight or tomorrow afternoon. Then I'm halfway through the next chapter for Early Morning Calls! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments are life. <3

_So I did a thing._  
4:15 PM

~ What kind of thing? ~  
4:16 PM

_You might get mad._

__

_Please don’t get mad._

_And maybe don’t tell Nat or Steve right away._  
4:16 PM

~ I don’t hide things from my Tasha. But I won’t be mad. ~  
4:18 PM

_But she might be. I probably shouldn’t have. I just… it was an impulse. It’s overstepping. I really should have asked._  
4:18 PM

~ Tony, it’s okay. Just tell me what you did for my baby. I’m sure it’s thoughtful and sweet. ~  
4:18 PM

_I… the company I work for. They were uh. You know. Putting some stock on offer for employees. One of the bigwigs retired and decided to let a handful of shares go within the company. Trying to look generous, I think._

_I already have some, but I thought…. I don’t know. College is so expensive, and kids need so much even before then, and I’ll probably never have any of my own, and. And._  
4:20 PM

_And look, I know it’s your baby, yours and Natty-cakes’, but it’s. Steve. The baby is part Steve, and I… even if this breaks or falls apart, I just._

_I should have asked. But it was on offer and going to be snapped up quick, and I just thought… fuck if I know what I thought._  
4:21 PM

~ Tony, what are you trying to tell me? I’m a little confused. ~  
4:22 PM

_I bought some stock in my company to put in the peanut’s name. When we know the name, anyway. It’s a solid company, Maria. These stocks will be worth something, even if it’s only a small share._

_They’ll be waiting for your kid when he or she is, you know, ready to set out on their own. For college or to travel a bit or whatever. I just. I wanted to take some of the pressure off, and to… to give the kid something. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I should have asked._  
4:25 PM

~ Oh Tony. You didn’t have to do that. It’s… I don’t even know what to say. ~  
4:26 PM

~I’m not mad, I promise. I’m just overwhelmed. I don’t… have much family, and neither does my Tasha. I’ve never… it’s been a long time since anyone outside of her and our idiots three would do something so kind. ~

~ You are the sweetest man, Tony. ~  
4:28 PM

_Lies. I am a heartless bastard. How dare you malign my hard-won reputation?_

_And you’re really not mad?_  
4:29 PM

~ You’re a teddy bear. ~

~ I’m not even a little angry, Tony. Thank you. ~  
4:30 PM

_You don’t have to thank me. I wanted to do it._  
4:30 PM

~ You did something sweet for my baby. You deserve thanks. ~  
4:30 PM

_I just… look. If you ever need anything, anything at all, I’ll do whatever I can to help. You and Nat and the peanut._  
4:31 PM

~ I know. Steve wouldn’t adore you so much if you weren’t that way. ~  
4:31 PM

_He does not._  
4:32 PM

~ He does so, but we don’t have to talk about that. ~  
4:33 PM

_Thanks._  
4:33 PM

~ Not a problem. Tony? ~  
4:34 PM

_Yes pumpkin?_  
4:34 PM

~ Just out of curiosity, what company will my baby own stock in? ~  
4:35 PM

_Stark Industries._  
4:50 PM

~ Holy shit. ~  
4:52 PM

~.~.~

**Tony.**  
8:34 PM

_Yeah?_  
8:34 PM

**You got any cute friends?**  
8:35 PM

_Uh, what the fuck?_  
8:35 PM

**Just answer the question.**  
8:37 PM

_Yes? I mean, Pep’s a babe and Brucie is adorable, but if you split them up I’ll have to end you. My platypus is, of course, both devastatingly handsome and the best person to ever grace the planet except maybe Steve._  
8:38 PM

_That’s a tough call._

_But again I ask: what the fuck?_  
8:39 PM

** Everyone I meet is either an ass or I find out they're taken. **

**Fucking sucks.**  
8:40 PM

** Stevie got lucky with you, real lucky, so I thought, you know. Maybe you could help a guy out. **

**Fuck. Forget it. I’m just… it’s been a bad day.**  
8:41 PM

_Awww, Robocop. You’re secretly adorable, aren’t you?_  
8:41 PM

** No. **

**Fuck you.**  
8:42 PM

_Nope! Can’t fool me anymore. You’re a softy. Gonna call you cupcake instead of Robocop now._  
8:42 PM

**Tony. No.**  
8:42 PM

_Fine, fine. I’m sorry it’s been a shit day. Talk to anyone about it?_  
8:43 PM

** Yeah. **

**To one of the taken ones.**  
8:44 PM

_Shit. Sorry grumpy bear._  
8:45 PM

** Fuck off. **  
8:45 PM** **

********

_You can call if you want. I won’t mother you like my honey-toast would._  
8:46 PM

**Maybe later.**  
8:46 PM

_Anytime, kay?_  
8:46 PM

**Only cause you’re sweet on Stevie.**  
8:47 PM

_Nah. Don’t tell anyone, but I kind of like you. So call me if you want to talk about it. I won’t rat you out to Steve either, if you don’t want me to._  
8:48 PM

**I know. Thanks.**  
8:48 PM

_And no promises, but… my platypus might be interested in at least chatting with you. Rhodey… he’s sorta worried about all this._

_Me talking to you and Steve and everyone, I mean._  
8:49 PM

_You could help him chill out about it maybe, once he sees how great you are._  
8:50 PM

**Why the fuck not. Sure.**  
8:51 PM

_Sweet. Want his number or his email? He has access to a computer more than his phone. I mostly text him when I don’t want him to see something for a little while._  
8:52 PM

**Email’s fine.**  
8:53 PM

_Great! Just promise first that you won’t make fun of him for the address. I made it for him in college, and now I hack him every time he tries to change it or get a new one. No teasing._

_He’s adorably sensitive about it._  
8:54 PM

_Robocop?_  
8:58 PM

_Buck? Are you okay?_  
9:02 PM

_I’m calling in five minutes if you don’t text back. If you don’t answer that, I’m calling Steve. Please just let me know if you’re okay._  
9:07 PM

** Call me. Shit day. **

**Please.**  
9:10 PM

_\- Dialing Robocop -_

~.~.~

_Bruce._

_Bruce_  
2:14 PM

_Brucie-bear._  
2:15 PM

_My wonderful, gorgeous science bro._  
2:16 PM

**_I’m not going to like this, am I?_**  
2:16 PM

_What?_

_Bruce, you wound me._  
2:17 PM

**_No, I know you. I’m not going to like this._**  
2:18 PM

_Probably not._

_Okay. So. It’s like this._  
2:18 PM

**_Oh dear God._**  
2:19 PM

_It’s not that bad!_

_I just wanted to warn you._  
2:20 PM

**_Tony, if this is about pod people or zombies again, we will have words. I stopped meditating to answer._**  
2:21 PM

_Sorry Brucie. But you love talking about the pod people and you know it. Don’t lie to me._

_But no._  
2:22 PM

_I MAYBE pissed off Pep._

_A little._  
2:23 PM

**_You in Las Vegas pissed or you in Shanghai pissed?_**  
2:23 PM

_Uh._  
2:23 PM

**_Tony._**  
2:24 PM

_Me in Vancouver pissed._  
2:25 PM

**_Shit._**  
2:25 PM

_Yeah. Sorry buddy._  
2:25 PM

_Just, uh. Maybe make her something nice for dinner and give her extra cuddles. She might need that. She deserves it._  
2:26 PM

**_What happened?_**  
2:26 PM

_I. Uh. Maybe bought something._  
2:26 PM

**_You can’t hear me, but I’m sighing heavily right now._ **

**_What did you buy, Tony?_**  
2:27 PM

_In my defense, I did it on zero sleep for the past couple of days and high on a picture of Steve’s abs._  
2:28 PM

**_Glasses are off, Tony, and I’m rubbing my temples. This is very, very important to how my evening is going to pan out._ **

**_What. Did. You. Buy?_**  
2:29 PM

_Okay. Well. It’s like this. Steve likes art._  
2:29 PM

**_Please tell me you didn’t buy him the Louvre. Even if you did, I need you to tell me that you didn’t._**  
2:30 PM

_That was my first though! Oh Brucie, you know me so well. Swooning now._  
2:31 PM

**_Well, we are science bros._ **

**_Science bros for life._**  
2:32 PM

_Love you Brucie. I’d be in your lab making kissy noises at you right now if you hadn’t turned traitor and moved across the country without me._  
2:33 PM

**_Love you too Tony._**  
2:33 PM

_Steve’s been complaining lately about how this brand of paint he really loves has been getting more expensive. On top of that the quality has been going down. It cracks more or something? I don’t know._

_I know fuck-all about art._  
2:34 PM

**_Tony. Did you buy out the company that makes the paint so you could improve the quality again without increasing the price?_**  
2:34 PM

_Yes._  
2:34 PM

**_You really like this guy, don’t you?_**  
2:35 PM

_Yeah. He’s… he’s amazing Brucie-bear. I just want to make him happy. And so this morning, when I decided I wanted to do something for him, I wanted to buy him the Louvre. But then I thought ‘too much’._  
2:36 PM

**_And a company seemed a lot more rational after that._**  
2:36 PM

_Yeah. Again – no sleep and a really, really great picture. Low-slung pajama pants, Bruce. Low-slung pajama pants._  
2:37 PM

**_Ah, a weakness of yours._**  
2:37 PM

_Oh yeah. I really didn’t mean to make her mad, but I knew I had to tell her. She thinks I’ll dump this company in her lap too._  
2:38 PM

**_You won’t though._**  
2:38 PM

_Of course not! I’ll try to find someone in the company who’s on-board with my new direction to be at the helm. If there’s no one suitable, I’ll do interviews with people outside the company. This isn’t going to be another ‘Tony Stark mess’ that she has to clean up, I promise. This is for Steve._  
2:40 PM

**_I’ll try to talk her down._**  
2:41 PM

_You are the best science bro to ever science. Next time I come out to California we are locking ourselves in your lab for a few days to make sweet, sweet science love and have science babies._  
2:42 PM

**_Can we blow a couple things up? Without you around nothing blows up anymore. I kind of miss it._**  
2:43 PM

_You know my philosophy, Brucie-bear. It’s not science if nothing explodes!_  
2:43 PM

~.~.~

**Tony, did u give some rando my email?**  
12:56 AM

_Okay, he’s not a ‘rando’, first of all, and second of all oh my God never use young people slang again, you old fart._  
12:58 AM

**Y the hell ru giving it at all?**  
12:58 AM

_Uh… because you’re awesome and he’s pretty cool and I think you might get along? Plus it’s Bucky! Robocop Bucky! Steve’s Bucky!_

_I thought you’d feel better if you got to talk to one of them._  
12:59 AM

**Y not Steve?**  
12:59 AM

_Because you’ll scare him off._  
12:59 AM

**Will not.**  
1:00 AM

_Will so._  
1:00 AM

**I want his #.**  
1:00 AM

_Bucky’s?_  
1:00 AM

**Steve’s. If I scare him off, he’s not good enough 4 u.**  
1:01 AM

_If I give it to you, will you promise not to use it for evil and also to talk to Bucky?_  
1:03 AM

**Fine. Promise.**

**Give it.**  
1:03 AM

_You already wrote him back, didn’t you?_  
1:04 AM

**B4 I txted u. His email was funny. + this is a good way 2 see if they’re 4real.**  
1:05 AM

_Thanks platypus._  
1:05 AM

**4 grilling ur boyfriend + his friends?**  
1:06 AM

_For caring so much about me._  
1:06 AM

**Ur my brother. Course I care.**  
1:06 AM

_Awww. Rhodey. Platypus. I love you too. I’m still not giving you permission to torment Steve, who is not my boyfriend._  
1:07 AM

**Close enough 2 it. + brothers don’t need permission. U promised me his #. Give it.**  
1:08 AM

_Just… please don’t scare him away. Do your overprotective big brother thing, but don’t go to far. I still want to have him when you’re done, Rhodes. I really, really like him._

_If you scare him off, I don’t know what I’ll do._  
1:10 AM

**Don’t worry Tones. I got this. I got u. Will b fine. Gotta go 4 a bit. Send his #. Talk more later.**  
1:11 AM

_I’ll send it to you in a bit. Stay safe platypus._  
1:11 AM

**Author's Note:**

> A key for just in case!!
> 
> _Tony txts in italic_ , Pepper just txts, Clint likes to underscore his words, _**Bruce is sensitive and strong**_ , _Nat is elegant and shouldn't be ignored_ , and **Bucky is blunt**.


End file.
